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The House of Smocking

by Chelsea Cargill

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1.
B movies Old film stars Falling under a train A monster is hiding Inside an alleyway Is there anybody left in this town? I walk with my eyes closed Try not to fade away They're playing my theme tune And it's the film that they never made There are supermen on street corners They're making a film on Sunset Boulevard Is it always this hard? I ride on a freight train The railroads stop and start A script with blank pages Save me before they cut my part! I was a film without a film star They're making a move On Sunset Boulevard An old-time, hard-luck song Working its way to my heart Is there anybody left in this town?
2.
It's the re-enactment society Swimsuit girls all stand in a line And there's a train that comes by your door Takes you to the waterside And did you win the summer parade? We re-enact the good old days Standing on the edge of the world We hold our breath and fly through the air! And did you win the summer parade? January so cold February so cold March and April take me to the summertime Longest winter so cold Darkest winter so cold Take me to the place I can begin again The school days you left behind Are all around you now With wide eyes and smiles and blue skies You're forever winning first prize You're forever queen of the town. And we fly above the edge of the world!
3.
They say I'm missing a lot of school Pass by my friends as they meet at the pool Sometimes they will look for me And sometimes they will find me They don't know what to do with me They'll never understand They call my name out first thing in class I slip away then to lie in the grass I disappear from photographs I take the long way home I fade away in crowded rooms With people all around (Only speaks when spoken to Irregular mastery of basic skills) The boys in fast cars never see me I try to tell myself that I'm free From all the high school in-crowds Who laugh and take a bow From all the anxious faces Who want to turn my life around They say I'll never get very far I watch my life unfold from afar Hmmmmm (Always sits at the back of the class Sets low standards and consistently fails to achieve them) And people think they've fixed me And then they let me go They look at me with sympathy As if there's something I don't know
4.
It comes around every Friday night The main show starts at nine When I get here there's standing room I just got in on time I'm not alone We're all new here And there's a girl who looks just like me Who always stands outside She listens in on the radio To memorise the lines There never was a girl who looked so good If my life came out on video You could hear me on the radio There never was a cloud in Hollywood
5.
I was a flight risk in the war. Turned up to roll-call, nothing more.
6.
BrokeStar 02:44
7.
I'm well enough to leave here now They say it's time to go home Maybe there's a way I don't have to go home They dressed me up and played me like a fool They gave me all the worst lines Maybe I'll meet somebody someday Maybe I'll be somebody somewhere And it's always been a thorn in my side I took second place to the crowd All people are alone in some ways Some are alone in all ways My first party dress My single blessedness He smiled at me and said I don't know why I'm saying all this to a stranger I've been waiting all my life To meet a girl just like you And we're setting out for the horizon I never wanted to arrive I almost missed the last ride
8.
Radio Song 04:03
I awoke from a long forgotten dream Took me back to a time I heard a tune so strange and sweet Late at night when they're playing our song Telling me all the things I never knew Until I heard them on the radio Some are sad and some are slow Some take you back to all the times you used to know And they don't play that song any more And it's the story of my life Where they know how I feel And I fall in love in every scene This time it's real
9.
10.
Janey went to school one day and nothing hurt Janey broke the rules today and nothing hurt We were only ever playing make-believe Don't let go, don't let go Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt We promised it would be the same when we grew up Then one day I found I was so far from home Don't let go, don't let go Everything was beautiful
11.
Sweet pain and victory Remind me of my broken heart. Like I'm in a movie and I have the leading part. The best moment of my life just happened again! Even in a little town like mine It's what it's all about. Where's this been all my life? Life is beautiful even when it's small I want to be a little fish in a small pond. Sorrow for lost time makes me miss my love Like a clock going back in time Where were you all my life? Sweet pain and victory.
12.
What If I 02:27
13.

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released January 4, 2021

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Chelsea Cargill Edinburgh, UK

songwriter and poet of edinburgh with piano.

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